NAP Wire, New Orleans: In an emergency effort to assure the fans of NCAA basketball of the integrity of the NCAA basketball process, Dr. Mark Emmert has preemptively vacated UK's eighth national championship.
"We're not exactly sure what they have done, but I'm sure Cal has done something. We just want to be proactive and prepared for a foregone conclusion."
The University of Kansas has asked for the trophy, but Emmert claimed that he left it in his office, and will have to call them back.
Update: April 1st just isn't that interesting around the Interwebs this year....